Attitude toward money are similar but they differ in safety and flexibility. ATM card ( Automatic Teller Machine ) is safer than cash money, because it's unnecessary for you to bring much money when you go anywhere if you use an ATM card. Your money will be stored securely and it will not lose any money. Although you lose your ATM card, you can block your ATM card, because your ATM card has PIN ( Personal Identity Number). ATM card is more practical and efficient, because the ATM card can give us the convenience of shopping ,business, trade, and etc. Finally, ATM card is better than cash money.
Desi Siska , 3 BA , visit my blog : http://dsiskaputri.blogspot.com/
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ReplyDeletedear desi, I think your paragraph is good but you have an incompleteness in a comparison or contrast. So you should make more explanation about it. Beside that, remember to put comma in your sentence if there is a conjunction. Thanks:)
ReplyDeletesentence "Attitude toward money are similar but they differ in safety and flexibility."
Deletewhat is 'Attitude toward money'? And why you use 'are' as the to be? Is it plural?
but I think it's not.
it should be..
"ATM and cash money are similar but they differ in safety and flexibility"
thank you desi :)
keep on trying
Sista , I think you should explain first what is safety and flexibility between ATM card and cash money , then you add with your support sentence. you should add more explanation so that's make your writing much.hehe :P
ReplyDeletei think,, you must change "Attitude toward money" become " ATM and cash money" to make it clearly.
ReplyDeleteand you must mention what of the similar and differ of them..
for example : ATM and cash money are types of money and kinds of way to pay something and bla bla bla.. :)
just for suggest,, dear :)
i think your paragraph is incompleteness .
ReplyDelete