name: Ramadhan Al Fartin
class: 3 BA
what makes a tie ugly
There are three reasons that make a tie looks ugly: A tie which has wrong combination color. First they're made of weird material. The knot is so thick it looks like some malignant tumor growing on the guy's neck. ties should be made of smooth. material but not polyester or acrylic because they look cheap. Second the bad designs on ties, a tie with a picture of the Monalisa on it. third the wrong combination color of ties for example a prune purple tie combining orange bubble with not pink squares or dark brown stripes with neon blue rectangle.
A tie which has wrong combination color
ReplyDeleteyou must delete this sentence or at least, you should write your sentence like this : There are three reasons that make a tie looks ugly. "First, a tie will look ugly if it has wrong combination color."
"Second the bad designs on ties, a tie with a picture of the Monalisa on it."
ReplyDeleteshould be..
"Second the bad designs on ties. For example, a tie with a picture of the Monalisa on it."
you have to be more careful with your punctuation.
ReplyDeletethere are a lot of mistakes because of it.
keep on practicing :)
you need to pay attention to the placement of punctuation would you use, because it affects the reader's understanding :)
ReplyDeleteActually it is hard for me to know what you mean because of your punctuation. Beside that, In the beginning of a sentence, you have to use a capital letters. It will be a mark of your sentence.
ReplyDelete"There are three reasons that make a tie looks ugly" i think this sentence is your topic sentence, right ?
ReplyDelete"A tie which has wrong combination color", how about this sentence? is it supporting sentence to topic sentence? but it incoherent with topic sentence.
I think you should give the conclusions at the end of the sentence..:)
ReplyDeleteA tie which has wrong combination color what the function of this word ?
ReplyDeleteyou should remember your topic sentence, must relation with next sentence .
I think you should look at your sentence "There are three reasons that make a tie looks ugly: A tie which has wrong combination color", you should write things which are including in your topic sentence. It should be : "There are three reasons that make a tie looks ugly, those are : a tie which is made of a weird material, a tie which has wrong combination colors, and a tie which has a bad design", thx
ReplyDelete