Being Strict or Lenient with Children

     Every parents have their own styles to treat their children. They can be strict parents or lenient parents. These two ways are different in cause, method, and effect to the children. Strict is one of parenting styles in which parents have too much controls over or demands on their children. The cause of this kind of parenting style is maybe because of the cultural traditions of parents. Parents grew up in a family with a high discipline style. For example, a dad who came from a military style with a high discipline lifestyles will treat his children with the same way like the way how his father used to treat him when he was young. The method that strict parents usually use is set too many rules. They set a lot of rules about personal issues. For example, a strict dad pushes his son to join the army and bans his son to join the school band. Strict parents will never listen to their children, because they always think that whatever they do is right and there is no exception about it. This parenting style will give some bad effects to the children, especially their behavior. Basically, there are two possibilities about the behavior of the children who have strict parents. They will be coward or rude. The children who develop rudeness will behave in the rough manner and they will forget about humanity when they feel tensed. If this behavior is developed within them, then it cannot be changed easily.

    On the other hand, lenient is a parenting style in which parents have few controls over or demands on their children. The cause of this kind of parenting style is  maybe because of the parents’ trauma of their childhood. Lenient parents are usually the children of strict parents. When they were young, they felt uncomfortable with how their parents treated them. They felt that they couldn’t be someone they wanted to be, if their parents involved too much in their own life. So, because of it, the lenient parents do not want to make the same mistake like what their parents did in the past. They will let their children do whatever their children want to do without any behavioral expectations for them. These parents are more concerned with being friends for their children. They afraid that the children will rebel against them if they are too hard on them. This kind of parenting style will give some bad effects. The children who have lenient parents are more likely to be impulsive and they can become a drug user or alcoholic. It is because they know that they will not be punished if they get caught. The worse is, they will have unrealistic self-esteem and always blame others for their own mistakes. When it comes to the effects, being strict can be a better choice for parents. They can control their children’s life, so their children will not be a drug user or alcoholic.

Arief Alditama , 3 BA , visit my blog : http://little-arf.blogspot.com